Tuesday

Review "Monster-in-Law "

We've got a movie review of "Monster-in-Law", starring that famous anti-war kook who's at it again…Jane Fonda. As for Jennifer Lopez, that girl needs to stick to singing.

And the tale of four generations of pointy chins with pics to compare.


Pic of the Day
weird auto accidents




Quote of the Day

You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, But you hardly ever see a smart woman with A dumb guy.
-Erica Jong-

My husband and I are either going to buy a Dog or have a child. We can't decide to Ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
-Rita Rudner-

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
-Wendy Liebman-

Never lend your car to anyone to Whom you have given birth.
-Erma Bombeck-

If high heels were so wonderful, Men would still be wearing them.
-Sue Grafton-

I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
-Roseanne Barr-



Web Site Worth the Visit
For Any Grandmas Reading

In honor of this post, a link to a good Grandma Site

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TIDBITS

Real Notes on Paternity

Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Child A was fathered by John Smith. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto heel in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and the he is Christ risen again.

I cannot tell you the name of Child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by my country. Please advise.

John Smith is the father of Child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?

From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney - maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

So much about that night is a blur. The only thing I remember for sure is there was a program about eggs on TV earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to a party, my eggs might have remained unfertilized.



 Posted by Hello


Chins, Tempers, Genes and Playing by the Rules

Twas but a week I ago that I wrote, a bit proudly and bemused, about Kaitlyn's odd love of the pinball. For so far as I knew, Kaitlyn has never been exposed to the lights and sounds of a pinball machine yet at a precious 3 years of age she spotted one across a crowded room and fell in love.

I too have always had a joy for pinball machines and frankly I don't know why. In fact, my mother loved to play the pinball and there were occasions when my mother and I would play the pinball, side by side, all damn day. Surely, I mused in that last post, Kaitlyn somehow inherited a love for the pinball machine from her maternal side but darn if that isn't a strange thing to be passing along in your genes. Or at least as I mused.

This past week Kaitlyn spent a few days with Mom-Mom and this time I noted a genetic disorder that Kaitlyn DID inherit from the maternal side of her family and it's no source of chromosomal pride.

It's called a temper and sure, everyone on the planet has one. Tempers also serve a purpose I am sure but by my experience, tempers are almost useless in terms of dealing with life's despairs and travails.

My husband never loses his temper and this amazes me. For I spring from a long line of bad tempers and it's always been a problem. In fact, we have terrible tempers in my family while I can't think of a single soul in my husband's family who has a temper. I figure this predelection must be hereditary. I also figure this makes MY family at a genetic disadvantage.

It was when Kaitlyn landed on a "chute" in the "chutes and ladders" game that she had a temper explosion as fine as some of my best. The chute had her sliding her playing piece down four rows and way behind Mom-Mom's piece which was then nearing the finish line to victory.

Kaitlyn did not like this bit of bad game luck one bit and damn if she didn't pick up her die and throw it, THROW IT I tell you, clear across the room!

Her behavior infuriated me on two levels. First, this was for sure an example of bad sportsmanship and at age three it was time the child learned a thing or two. Second, the bad temper gene was on display and my eyes rolled to heaven. So okay God, I thought a bit irreverently, Kaitlyn inherited a weird attraction to pinball machines but that's okay. She also inherited her pointy chin, pic and diagram below, and hey, this is okay, even amusing, as well.

Four generations of pointy chins


I asked God if He couldn't, just once, bypass this terrible temper gene on just ONE person in our family? Because a temper tantrum is not pretty and a temper tantrum accomplishes nothing and a temper tantrum is a waste of energy. Yet even as I type, let this computer freeze up or allow any other sometimes petty thing happen to annoy me and I too will throw a temper tantrum even as I write wonderfully of how stupid such things are.

Hand to God, it's a physical thing. The rage roars up from within me somewhere and my body reacts. Fortunately, unlike O.J. Simpson, my temper does not cause me to up and murder someone. In fact I rarely throw things or engage in physical rage that damages my person or property. But I can yell and scream and cuss like a sailor, scaring all children, pets and birds in my surround during the rage.

I'm not proud of this. My husband, always calm even in cases where I would have thrown things out the window, will remind me that my temperate displays serve no purpose and of course they don't. It's like a volcano inside of me, the rage rises and the anger must erupt, somehow and someway.

Every female in my family is fully aware of our notorious tempers. None of us like it yet we'll lose our cool time and again. Now we have 3 year old Kaitlyn throwing dice across the room when she loses and I marvel at the notion that even at so young an age it's so obvious she's got the family temper. Poor dear child.

There will come a time when Kaitlyn Mae will read this Blog of her namesake. Along with all of the vignettes of her life I have encapsulated, let her pause now at this post and know that her grandmother early on identified a major genetic defect and give her hope to start working on it right away. I didn't even know I HAD a terrible temper until I was middle-aged. I thought everyone acted like an idiot when things don't go their way.

Thus Grandmother will inform young Miss Kaitlyn right here and now that tempers should be quelled.

Hopefully along the road path of her life Grandmother can be helpful in pointing out a temper tantrum and somehow shame her out of such fearsome displays. In fact, it's time for Kaitlyn and I to form a temper control support group.

Yeah...that's the ticket.

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DISCLAIMER: Movie Reviews

I never see a first-run movie so any movie reviews I do are likely older ones. But if you're looking to rent a DVD for the weekend, or just want a new perspective on a movie you remember fondly, or not-so-fondly, read on.


"Monster-in-Law"

Just in time, tada, for the re-emergence of Jane Fonda as war protester we present a review of what is possibly the worst movie ever aired.

Indeed, throw in Jennifer Lopez and we have a movie, official web site here, that defies the very definition of bad acting and vapid story lines.

monster-in-law pic montage


There is no worse actress than Jennifer Lopez dear Lord she was so terrible I wanted to reach through the TV and slap her silly. As for Jane Fonda...sheesh I hate that woman.

Okay, Fonda plays a famed anchor news woman who loses her job to younger and prettier. Left on her own, she then learns her beloved son is about to be married to a "temp" and Fonda doesn't like it one bit. Her plan? Become a "monster-in-law" and scare Lopez away from her son.

First, this is a hackneyed plot. Some good and original comedy might have added something to the plot but Jane Fonda and Jennifer Lopez? Dear Lord. Jane Fonda is no comedienne. She is a bit too shrill and edgy to be funny. It's her personna and even with the help of Hollywood makeup and acting coaches this absence of joy can't be ammended.

As for Ms. Lopez, if nothing else watch this film to see what an airhead this broad is. I bet the director of this movie was rolling his eyes and biting his tongue. With my temper I'd have slapped her several times every day, just on principle.

Beyond my pic montage above and a link provided, I can't go on about this film. My suggestion is to avoid it at all costs.

If you want to watch Jane Fonda, tune into CNN and watch her be an idiot for the Moonbats amongst us. She is much better at this sort of thing.

Heh.
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More Kaitlyn posts HERE

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